Choosing Joy in the Midst of Chaos

“I have never been so thankful for a totaled car and you almost getting your a** kicked.”

If someone asked what my last text message was to my husband, that would be it. And here I am—still thinking about choosing joy and what that really means in this season of my life.

The past thirty days have been a whirlwind of events that most people would label as bad news. My dad broke his femur. My bonus son #1 totaled his wife’s car. About a week later, my husband totaled his own.

Not only did he total his car, but the other driver—the one who caused the accident—tried to attack him afterward. Then, when he went to the hospital to get checked out, we saw that blood pressure reading: 194 over 130-something. As I write this, he’s still in the hospital for his second night. (As I post this, he is on night 3).

If you know me in real life, you know I’m not typically a “look on the bright side” person. I’m the realist—the one people come to after a meeting to make sure they aren’t being naïve by seeing only the silver lining. But today, I chose joy.

As I watched my husband get poked and prodded—blood pressure test after blood pressure test—I smiled. Not because any of it was easy, but because I was thankful. Thankful that I could watch this moment. Thankful that he’s still here. Thankful that God is still good.

In that moment, “the joy of the Lord was my strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). I realized that even in the middle of pain and fear, God gives us the strength to smile, breathe, and be grateful.

That experience opened my heart to see other places where joy was waiting. When my bonus son totaled his car, I was scared and worried, but I was also able to be present. I’ve prayed for months to build a stronger bond with my bonus son—for sobriety, for healing, for his marriage. That accident, though frightening, gave me the chance to talk to him through this hard time and see God’s hand in his resilience.

Now, I even get to take one of my grandkisses to school a few days a week—and show her off every chance I get. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). And sometimes, that morning comes in the giggles of a child in the back seat.

Then there’s my dad. About a month ago, he slipped while getting out of the bath and broke his femur. That led to a month-long hospital stay and now a long road of physical therapy. At first, I couldn’t see any good in it. But then I realized—his femur broke, not his hip. No hip replacement was needed. And I finally heard him say just the other day, “I guess I shouldn’t be in such a hurry to get out of here. This is a lot for your mom.” Then my mom finally admitted, “We need help.”

There was so much unexpected joy in those humble, healing words.

As I drove to the hospital, I was met with such love and support: numerous texts from the wives of the motorcycle club, the brotherhood of police officers, and kind words from co-workers, family and friends. In the middle of chaos, I felt peace. God was reminding me that He places people in our path to lift us up when we’re too weary to stand on our own. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

Yesterday in Bible study, someone misquoted that familiar line about “God not giving us more than we can handle.” We’ve all heard it, but the verse—1 Corinthians 10:13—actually talks about temptation, not suffering. Still, it teaches us that God always provides a way out, a way through, or a way to grow. Temptation and pain don’t come from God—they come from the enemy or from our own human frailty. Yet God never leaves us to face them alone.

Hardship itself isn’t from God, but how He uses it most certainly is. Genesis 50:20 reminds us that “you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” And Romans 8:28 reassures us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.”

So how will you choose joy today?

• How will you thank God that your dad broke his femur instead of his hip?

• How will you thank Him that a totaled car showed your son that God is greater than addiction?

• How will you thank Him that someone’s aggression might have saved your husband’s life from a silent killer like high blood pressure?

It’s a lot to take in, I know. But as a follower of Christ, this is what I am called to do—to find joy in the pain, light in the darkness, and purpose in the process. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2–3).

Joy doesn’t mean pretending everything’s okay. It means trusting that God is still good—even here, even now.

Choosing Joy,

-Rae of Faith